It has always been a dream of mine to be a writer and never in my wildest imagination did I believe that anyone would read, let alone like, what I write. I shared about my anxiety about unleashing the creative juices when I wrote #DailyWritingChallenge: Creativity.
When I was younger,I wrote poetry but people laughed at it and I stopped writing. In hindsight I don’t think they laughed because it was dreadful but because I poured out my soul onto the paper. There is an episode in ‘Thirteen Reasons Why’ where Hannah joins a poetry circle and begins to really write from her heart – that episode resonated with me. She shared and her inner-most thoughts were exposed for all to hear – she gave up writing poetry shortly after that.
Dreams are somewhat like that too. I don’t want to say what I wish for, dream for, hope for in case someone laughs at me and thinks that I am above my station. I hate the interview question ‘Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?’ Do you want the answer that I hope you won’t laugh at or where I dream of being – where I really want to be?
When I was in primary school, I wanted to be a brain surgeon, air hostess and model in that order. I never dared to dream of being a teacher because my Dad hated teachers. He was strongly of the opinion that teachers taught because they couldn’t do anything else. He actually decided what I would do for A Level and also decided what degree I should take – there wasn’t really any room to dream living with Dad – he was quite a strong character and had mapped out my destiny. The problem was, he had mapped it out based on his dreams.
To his horror, as my degree came to an end, I knew that I wanted to become a teacher and I began a PGCE. Within my twenty years of teaching, so many of my dreams have come true from roles that I’ve had to people who I have met and worked with. Meeting Pie Corbett was a major dream come true and I really couldn’t help fan-girling on that day! Vashti Hardy was another – gosh was I excited to meet her and had to stop myself for jabbering on as I do when I am terribly excited.
Sorry, I have become distracted, back to dreaming. All my life, I have dreamt of becoming a writer but something has always stopped me – the fear of failing. It felt easier not to dream than to dream and not achieve it. This year though, all that changed. I started a blog and began to write. The TES asked if I would write an article for them, True Education Partnerships asked if I could be a ‘Guest Contributor’ and Nexus Education began publishing my blog posts all about Twitter and Tiny Voices. Then I joined the #DailyWritingChallenge and really put myself out there as a writer – I allowed myself to become vulnerable because in order to achieve our dreams sometimes we have to be vulnerable. People liked what I was writing! I was shocked.
A few months ago, Sarah Mullin asked for contributions for her new book and I had a go. I submitted my 500 words and waited. Sarah doesn’t know that after the submission deadline date I checked my inbox regularly to see if she had emailed – I was sure I wouldn’t be accepted but I dreamt that just maybe I would be. Yesterday, I found out that my submission would be part of the book. Mine – I know!
I dreamt, I made myself vulnerable and look what happened. I am (becoming) a writer. I hope your dreams come true too!